Losing Paradise...

So, what do you do when you realize you're losing Paradise, your heaven on earth, your perfect place...?

My Gram owns a camp up in Greenville (ME, not SC!), right on Moosehead Lake. It's the most amazing place in the world. Surrounded by woods, right on the water. Tons of trails, mountains, wildlife, everything you could want. The town itself is so full of character, that quaint, wonderful feeling you get with small towns.

Growing up, I went there all the time with Gram and Grampa. There are so many memories I have, even today it's my safe haven. I can't imagine life without camp. Grampa ruled the camp, taught us to fish, took us out on the trails, and showed us how to respect nature. Growing up he was, and still is, one of my biggest heroes. He may not have been perfect, but he was incredibly wise, and so full of peace. He is who taught me to love land, animals and nature. Knowing that Kaiden will grow up never knowing him breaks my heart.

Gram has been talking about selling camp for quite a while, though we never thought she would. She doesn't go up anymore, I can only imagine how painful it must still be, even after 7.5 years. She's brought home all her furniture from their bedroom, and now is in the process of cleaning the camp out and putting it on the market.

If I had the resources, I'd buy it in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, there's no way we could afford it, even without all the land. If for no other reason, I'd want to give Kaiden the experiences I had growing up. I can't imagine him growing up not knowing this incredible place. Without camp, it'll be next to impossible to get up there often. Inns are expensive, and we're not exactly rolling in the dough. With an almost 4 hour drive, we can't exactly just go for a day trip either.

There are so many memories I have up there. Snowmobiling on the lake, and my brother almost crashing into a tree. Driving to camp late one night and seeing the coyote. My first, and only, canoe ride. Grampa teaching us to fish. Leisurely boatrides, followed by a picnic on the beach. Going in town to see the parade and fireworks on the 4th of July. Labor Day weekend with the Fly Inn, and seeing all the planes. Going out at night to see the moose. Sunday mornings with egg muffins. Gram wanting to leave, and Grampa taking his time. Summers when everyone came up, having a blast in the lake. Cookouts, followed by roasting marshmallows. Going on hikes in the woods, picking wildflowers with Gram, or learning tracks with Grampa...

I can't even express how much it hurts to know I'm losing this sanctuary. To know I'm saying goodbye to that place forever, and knowing Kaiden won't be able to experience all those wonders. It's like losing Grampa all over again, and losing any future we had up there. I can't blame her for selling it, I really can't. It just sucks, beyond belief, knowing what I'm losing. I never imagined this time would come, I don't know what to do.

What do you do when you realize heaven, your perfect place, is gone?